You can't have your cake and eat it too...

Bullshit!! That was my response to this saying when I was in high school. And I still have that attitude about things, but it's modified. My career and school and relationships are really weighing me down right now. I want to be a vet which takes a lot of dedication. At the same time I want to be one of the best female climbers, or at least be able to climb once I have a decent job. And most of all I want to have a family that understands. My career is kinda scaring me though. I know I can do it and I know that it is what I love to do...but I don't want to be the mom who ships her kids off to daycare for 9 hours a day and is too tired to spend time with them when I get home. Plus, it's hard to find a guy that can handle my kind of determination (aka..stubbornness??) and understand why I do it. I do a lot of things for other people...correction, did. Being a vet is something I am doing for myself. My religion and relationship with God and his Son is another thing I am doing. I guess what's been making me think about this so much is that I have to take Gin to play in a backyard for 9-10 hours a day 3 days a week because I don't have enough time to let her out. I don't want to do that to my children. And maybe I won't. I guess my hours will be what I make them. So me having my cake and eating it too is kinda my goal, but I am not nearly as assured as I used to be. On a different note...I need strength and prayers because I have to stand for my beliefs again this Sunday when I tell my mom that I am not going to take Communion at church. Sometimes I just want to cut the rope...