Life is a monopoly

There are a lot of things in life that you can't change. Like...you're going to die, who your parents are, the time period you were born into, and numerous other things. But, the good part is that there are a lot of other things that you CAN change in your life. Ya you may hurt some people along the way, and definitely are going to catch grief for it, but if you truly think that it will be the best for you and your future, then you should do it. Life is constantly overruling us. We can't defeat it or tackle it, but...we can be true players in it. It's like monopoly...we can't overtake it, but we can play the game. I'm not the one to tell people what to do, and I like that about myself. Most people would say that people are going to take advantage of me that way...I say that that is their problem, not mine. Maybe I am way too optimistic in thinking that people have a good nature. I think it comes from me thinking that all creation comes from God and so they have to be inheritly good. Which is another reason I don't really hold grudges. I don't know, it just seems like I have been judged so much and know what it feels like, so I don't judge other people cuz I don't want them to feel like that. I grew up in that environment (the small community where everyone is the same so when diversity comes, it gets a HUGE slap in the face and is ostracised). Not really the Christian way for a predominantly Christian community.

My life in a book

So I am reading a book called High Infatuation by Steph Davis, a well-known female climber, and it is changing my life. When I read it, it is like I am reading a story of me. Kinda scary, but cool if I could ever get that good in climbing. So what if she is a dirtbag climber. I feel no need to judge anyone cuz in the end it doesn't really matter.
You are probably wondering why I called my blog "the end...at least temporarily." Well for the past-let's see-6 months I have been struggling trying to get the love of my life back, battling with my parents over religion, and determining what I am going to do with the rest of my life. Today, I finally decided to stop fighting and rely on God. Now I have done this a few times in the past couple months, but I always seem to think that I can take over about midway through. I guess the event that really changed things around for me was when 'Sweej' , the love of my life' decided that he didn't want me to come climbing with him because he was afraid it would send the wrong messages. I was furious and hurt. And after talking to a good friend who asked me about the situation, I learned that I cannot and never have been able to control this one. I've realized in the past year that I like to control things in my life, and it has been a severe struggle to 'let go and let God' as it's said. I have a career to focus on right now, and as selfish as that sounds, there are somethings that I have to do solely for me. If I get into CSU in two years for vet school, it will be a sign from God. If not, I will be bummed but it just means it will take me longer to get to him. So that is why it is called the end...temporarily. I am not saying Goodbye, I am saying not now. And I am scared as shit too. Letting him go means I might lose him forever, but if it is Godsent like I think it is, and we truly have a soul tie (I will elaborate in a later blog...maybe. It's pretty deep and personal), then we'll meet again. I love you.