Seeing you.

I knew you before you were a tinman, and all I have to say is that I love you. You, not the tinman you are classifying yourself as or the moon in the sky whose so far away. In response to that...The reason it became so hideous is because in trying not to hurt one another and following "protocol" for what's to be done in this situation...we never just followed our hearts. Now, we're paying for it. Our hearts are telling us one thing but we constantly think that we have to treat each other a certain way because we are in this status. It's bullshit is what it is. We loved each other ( I say loved, because I don't know how you feel anymore) and had an amazing relationship where each of us thought that there was no one else in the world that would be greater. But then, it got tough and instead of thinking of ourselves and the repercussions of not being together, we thought of others. And now we're miserable. Don't think that I am so happy...cuz I'm not. Every night I lay in my bed and face the inside because you're supposed to be there. After about 5 min, I turn to the outside and wish and pray that you figure it out someday. You see, I have always wanted to be with you, but when you shut me out of your life, I am going to respect that. Which is why I don't call you. I expect you to make the first move because if I do, I'm afraid you won't respond. So make the first move... Seeing you at the wall yesterday made my heart race. I didn't know what to do, as well as not knowing what to say. Sorry if I came off a little uncordial. I miss you and it's hard